Fetlife

Lately there has been issues on  Fetlife. For those that don't know Fetlife  is a BDSM kink community site.

For many months now, the site has come up on news media for various reasons, which if you think about it, is really no different than Facebook, its just that Fetlife is a site where people who may keep their kinks to themselves, many of us embrace ours. The other reason people choose to be anonymous about themselves is because society doesn't accept people who choose to live a lifestyle that accepts them for who they are. When a breach has happened, many become anxious and angry.

Some of the issues with breach of the terms of agreement for using the site, members outing one another when a relationship goes wrong and links being shared that involve children, which is in direct violation of the terms of agreement.

I don't know about you, but for me, I have scaled back what is on my profile and have been removing more and more photos (not that that changes anything, because we all know that once you put something up on the internet, it is up for life). The reason for me is simple, I've not been active in the community as much as I once was and I feel it is wrong to have comments on my profile depicting that I am available when right now, I'm focused on other areas of my life.

While the site has given me a platform for community, friendships, education and growth. I am concerned about the level of protection given. People need to take accountability for themselves, but when the owner of the site breaches his own Terms of Agreement, one has to wonder just what is deemed safe anymore?

Negotiating

Today was subbie tea day! I've not been in quite sometime and I very nearly didn't attend. I've been having a lot of trouble with getting sleep and subsequently my mood and energy is lacking. But Master insisted I go, He was going to be doing some renovations to our bathroom while I was away. 

I got to our subbie tea location and as usual our hostess, with the mostess, has outdone herself. Always conscious of allergies and food concerns for everyone. There was 1% milk, almond milk and soy milk for your tea and coffee. To gluten free foods, fresh fruits with chocolate for dipping, vegetables with a herb dip as well as spinach dip with homemade made bread to go with it.  It is a great time to catch up with other submissive people as well as discuss the day's topic which was: 

THE ART OF NEGOTIATION

This topic wasn't just for new people to the bdsm kink community. It is always great to have a refresher. For me today this refresher was in the discussion of safe words and realizing there are many different ways to get your safe word out. 

1. You can use visual "safe words" as they are excellent for when you are at a public play party and it is noisy. Or if you have a ball gag in your mouth.  An example of a visual can be a yellow ball in one hand and a red ball in the other hand. They can represent your level of acceptance.
2. You can use a small object and toss it on the floor or towards your Top when you have reached your "red" level of acceptance (if that is what you have negotiated). 

I found this topic refreshing as I have been in the bdsm community for 5 years this year and it is always good to go over your check list of what you are ok with watching, what you won't do, what you love and what you are curious about. 

Always remember there is NEVER to be any negotiation once a scene has started. 

That all limits are off the table until discussed. THEN and only THEN are the ones agreed to, are the ones allowed. NEVER allow a Top to introduce during a scene a change that you did not consent to. 

Always remember that negotiations will always be ongoing, as you evolve and grow. Mine have and I'm sure yours have or will the longer you are in the Community. 

Spanxs and Lixxs

Its the little things

This morning I got up and made Master a fresh pot of coffee. He is a man who in the morning is very groggy and will often just grab whatever is available, but I thought He would like something fresh. He takes such good care of me, especially with my lifestyle eating changes. He has been measuring my portions, and reminding me of the benefits of making sure I get enough protein and exercise. I love how it is the little things that keep our dynamic working.

I also love it when we will be giving kisses goodbye and He asserts His dominance by grabbing a bunch of my hair at the back of my hair and passionately kisses me.

What do you like to have done to you/with you as a reminder of your dynamic?

Spanking thoughts

I have been thinking.... and yes I do that a lot *giggles*

Do any of you go through periods of where there isn't play? Could be from an illness, busyness of life, etc.

How do you make sure to get your "spank on" when you can't always play as you once did?

Do you (submissive/slave) get permission from your Master/Sir to spank yourself?
Do you (if your single) make sure to feed your craving on your own?
Do you ask your Master/Sir for some play time?

I'd be very interested to hear your suggestions and thoughts!

Happy Tuesday Everyone!!

Spanxs and Lixxs!

Sexy Valentine's Day Wishes

Where has the time gone? It seems like yesterday we were in December and now we are here :)

Master and I wanted to wish all of you a Happy Kinky Valentine's Day!! May all your fantasies and kinks come true!

Next Time He Will Attach my Tits..

With nipple clamps to the treadmill!!

Yep, that's what Master said to me after our workout at the gym today.

He may be a  mean old man, but I love the way He thinks!

He does give a new spin on exercise and kink being combined!!

His determination to our health and weight loss is paying off and will continue to pay off.

For dinner we are having mashed cauliflower, meat and probably salad. All prepared by Him.

I am so blessed to have Him for my Master.

Licks and Spanxxs!

Happy HumpDay!!

Master and I have spent a lot of time doing things other than kink, as I said in my last post Keeping Up With Kink

As my naturopath wants me to not eat any wheat or dairy right now, Master has been overseeing that I don't. It means really thinking about my food choices and also learning about the different foods that are out there!  I love how Master makes sure I eat what is best for me and we talk over things to make and what is best.

We shop for organic products as much as possible, not only for the health benefits, but because I need to eat as minimal hormone produced products. Our meats are a primary source for growth hormones because farmers force growth on our animals as well as spraying pesticides on our vegetables.

So in the Spring Master and I plant our own vegetables. Master encourages me to grow our own vegetables because I love to be outside working in the yard and I like growing foods that I know have nothing harmful on them.

As for playing on the darkside, Master was very ill with the Norwalk Virus and has only just started to feel better. We hope to be visiting the darkside very soon!

Happy Hump Day!!

Keeping Up with Kink

Happy Friday Everybody! 

Sometimes life throws us curves and changes that make it difficult to keep up with our fetishes and kinks. 

That's what has happened with Master and I, just as I suspect it has happened to many of you. 

I have a mental illness and I do write on another blog as to how I am doing. You are more than welcome to follow Finding My Way Back as well I also do a fair bit of volunteer work with rescuing dogs from high kill shelters I also blog about the benefits to fostering, adopting and rescuing Everyday Wiggles. 

Health wise, I've been busy this week with appointments, so it has really taken away from blogging and staying in touch with people. 

Kink wise, there is West Coast Bound this weekend. I really wish we could go, but money is super tight right now and we just can't afford it. 

I am also on Tumblr and have just reconnected on there, boy have I missed it! Feel free to follow me there, I have all kinds of naughty thoughts revealed!Sexy On The Darkside

So that's what I have been up to! What have you all be up to? I'd sure love to hear how you all are doing.