February 24, 2013

Negotiating

Today was subbie tea day! I've not been in quite sometime and I very nearly didn't attend. I've been having a lot of trouble with getting sleep and subsequently my mood and energy is lacking. But Master insisted I go, He was going to be doing some renovations to our bathroom while I was away. 

I got to our subbie tea location and as usual our hostess, with the mostess, has outdone herself. Always conscious of allergies and food concerns for everyone. There was 1% milk, almond milk and soy milk for your tea and coffee. To gluten free foods, fresh fruits with chocolate for dipping, vegetables with a herb dip as well as spinach dip with homemade made bread to go with it.  It is a great time to catch up with other submissive people as well as discuss the day's topic which was: 

THE ART OF NEGOTIATION

This topic wasn't just for new people to the bdsm kink community. It is always great to have a refresher. For me today this refresher was in the discussion of safe words and realizing there are many different ways to get your safe word out. 

  1. You can use visual "safe words" as they are excellent for when you are at a public play party and it is noisy. Or if you have a ball gag in your mouth.  An example of a visual can be a yellow ball in one hand and a red ball in the other hand. They can represent your level of acceptance.
  2. You can use a small object and toss it on the floor or towards your Top when you have reached your "red" level of acceptance (if that is what you have negotiated). 
I found this topic refreshing as I have been in the bdsm community for 5 years this year and it is always good to go over your check list of what you are ok with watching, what you won't do, what you love and what you are curious about. 

Always remember there is NEVER to be any negotiation once a scene has started. 

That all limits are off the table until discussed. THEN and only THEN are the ones agreed to, are the ones allowed. NEVER allow a Top to introduce during a scene a change that you did not consent to. 

Always remember that negotiations will always be ongoing, as you evolve and grow. Mine have and I'm sure yours have or will the longer you are in the Community. 

Spanxs and Lixxs






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