October 22, 2011

A lump

Last night while making a fuss of my dog Blaze, my boyfriend noticed and asked me if I had felt a lump under Blaze's right front armpit? Puzzled I said no and that I would take a look as well. I instantly started to feel panic, I went and got my books on Jack Russell Terriers and started to do some research on lumps and bumps and if it is a common trait.

Blaze in the meantime, was snoring a way, no worse for the wear, I was beside him and so I felt the area. I tugged and squished the lump, it felt soft and squishy. The biggest notice was that Blaze never woke up, never fussed in discomfort, he didn't even flinch when I moved his front arm/paw! Somewhat relieved, I put up a message on my Facebook as I wanted to know if other JRT owners had ever had this problem. As the answers started to come in from friends and family. Two answers in particular struck me with comfort, one from my cousin who is a Vet Assistant, and one from a friend down in the states, who also works with animals. Both without knowing one another, said the same thing; that the most common answer would be that this lump would most likely be a "fat tissue" or lipoma.

After reminding myself that the only fact I had was the visual and touch of the squishy flesh, that the panic I was feeling and the sudden head swirling of "he doesn't have cancer or he can not die", will not help me at all. But at the same time, the reality of what I was seeing and could possibly deal with didn't leave my mind. I have since called my veterinarian and have booked an appointment for him. If nothing else to ease my mind and to have the confirmation that he will be ok.

I realize that my dogs will someday pass and go onto the Rainbow Bridge. Yet at the same time, they represent something so deep within my soul that some may think that I am not sane. I've learned that it doesn't matter what others think or feel, what does matter is what I think and feel. That my dogs are my life, they have been with me through years of trauma and at times, happiness. They have traveled from one Province to another, taken various road trips with me, attending friends places and have shared themselves with others in my past places of work.

Yet, through it all, a tail has always wagged, a lick has always waited, a snuggle and head rest on me have soothed me more than any medicine ever could have. The companionship that Blaze has given me, right from the moment he was born and in his early days of life, he chose me. He wanted me to be his owner and I realized very quickly that there was no going back. His sister Destiny is another that has a very special place in my heart, for she also chose me after she almost didn't make it at birth. I had resuscitated her and brought her back, all the while the phone on my ear with the emergency vet, a puppy inside my shirt and against my breast, and Blaze who I was cleaning with one hand the sac that he had lived in for those 62 days of creation. Their mom Jasmine was in the middle of birthing another pup and given it was her first litter she didn't want me going anywhere.

I am sure some would think I sound like a cliche, how a pet has impacted someone so much, and how lost they will feel when that time comes to let them go. But I know that through all the pets I have owned, I do not recall a dog quite like Blaze or his sister Destiny.  They both have marked my heart and my soul in ways that no human can ever replace, and I am positive wouldn't want to.

Ironically, from looking up information on Jack Russell Terriers has restarted my interest in supporting clubs here in Canada as well as seeking out JRT Rescue facilities. Not because I believe Blaze is in danger of passing, but because this was something I have always wanted to do, I have always wanted to run a Rescue facility, to give a safe home for dogs in need, and Jack Russells seem to come up a lot.

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