|Kermit playing the banjo|
Our Kink Community was alive and well last night. A few faces I didn't know, a few I did know, a many hugs of hellos :). We didn't do a public scene last night as neither of us were feeling the energy was right for us. We did however, watch a several scenes, a few caught my eye; one in particular did trigger a memory of a scene that went wrong for me and my Master who is also my bf had said we could go somewhere else in the room, and I had said no, that I wanted to see it through. It was uncomfortable, and yes it made me squeamish but I wanted to see if I could work it through.
The scene I was watching was a slave and her Master. She was on the St. Andrew's Cross and her Master went directly into full whipping, and it instantly reminded me of a moment of my past where I had a former Master who did the same thing but not at Rascals it was a hotel. Like her scene, there was no warm up, no discussion prior, nothing.
My scene went like this. I was asked to be fully nude, to stand at the end of one of two beds in the hotel, and my ex Master took his whip, which I later learned he had never used, and was new to him, practiced on me, I was incredibly green at that time, and didn't know any of this, his slave was on the Island and she wanted him to "break it in on me, so that it would be supple when it was used on her". Needless to say, several hours went by, and my ex Master's goal was to try and "break" me to be his slave, and I knew he wouldn't break me. My soul and spirit wouldn't let him. I remember in the end I had about 2 hours of sleep, he woke me, I was what I learned over time was subspace, drove me home and said he would talk to me later. I remember trying to reach him later to let him know I wasn't well and couldn't reach him, eventually he called me back and all he said was "yes, that can happen, you will be fine". I called a friend, who I went to see, he fed me lots of fruit, cuddles, dinner and told me to sleep for as long as I wanted, that I was safe. To this day I have never forgotten that moment and I have had to play very slowly with any kind of crop or whip in the hopes that some day the trust factor will allow me to experience the true pleasure of subspace as it really can be.
In the case of the scene before me, I wasn't privy to their discussions so perhaps they did discuss prior to their scene, but I know in my case, there was absolutely no discussion about any rules, colors, safe words etc.
The wales of cries were fierce, the tears non stop, I waited and wondered when her Master was going to soothe her, when was he going to wrap that blanket around her? My Master who is also my bf and I talked and He didn't like what he was seeing and we both looked around the room and we begun to notice around the room that slowly a few of the "elder" members were starting to watch the scene before us. Yet still no call of Red.
My Master said, it could be that she may find the intensity cathartic, some do as he had once experienced during a scene back in Dallas. He wanted to know if I was doing ok, I said I was definitely bothered because now there was blood and whip marks and for some reason the whole scene itself seem so detached and less attached.
Eventually after she cleaned with antiseptic and a band aid was put on one of her wounds; the scene was resumed, steadfast and intense. Her tears strong, I thought for sure she was going to climb off St. Andrew and over it; but I am sure her Master would have whipped her longer. Eventually, her scene ended, she was removed from the cross and she grabbed her blanket and made her way back to her seat. As for Master and I, we kept walking around, talking and taking in other scenes and laughing and giggling with friends.
One of our personal highlights of the evening was we had our very first pictures taken with ThatGuy as a couple. This was very personal for us, as we hadn't been able to get a together picture until now. I've not received it yet, but when I do, I will post it.
I like to leave a little smile at the end of my entry personally I am one for smiles and laughter, I've been learning just how short life really is....